fuck you, fuck your stupid irrational thinking, fuck your denial, fuck the fact that you think you're not in denial and think everyone always uses denial to get people do admit they have a problem, fuck the fact that now you're throwing me into a category of "everyone else who thinks that way about you," fuck your double edged sword that backs me into a corner and makes me unable to say anything, fuck hanging up the phone just so you can have the last word before i can even say my point, fuck you for making it so I can't sleep when I have to get up in 2 hours, fuck you for making me not want to play guitar because the only song I feel like playing lately is about you, fuck you for making me sound cliche, fuck you for not understanding what I'm trying to tell you, fuck you for not listening, fuck you for not texting me back, fuck the fact that i like you so much, fuck you for making me so angry, fuck you for being able to effect me again, fuck you.

I give up

i'm sitting my room in a red onesy eating yogurt with rainbow sprinkles and peanut-butter filled pretzels and orange jello and no, i am not ok.

sometimes you make me so paranoid i almost just call it quits

i need coffee and i don't want to talk to you today for reasons that have nothing to do with not wanting to talk to you

I feel really off.
But in an on top of things sort of kind of way
I'm on my way to work
I like never have work anymore
Yet I don't want to go
I just want to stay home and be a bum in my room festering with disgusting amounts of dirty laundry and gross shit in it and think about all the things I need and want to do with everything
I want my guitar back

There are not enough hours in a day to do all the things i want to and need to do