This hotel room is nice. It's high up, I can see out pretty far even when it's dark out. Too bad traveling makes me unusually depressed. Can't have everything I guess.

I like having somewhere to myself though, even if I am alone.
I'm off right now, I can't seem to get right yet.

Comment on this please. just not in english

Headache. Concussion. Brain hates. Me. Ouch. Ouch, Ouch, Ouch.
I keep trying to study and do homework like this. biggest failure ever

Headache. Concussion. Brain hates. Me. Ouch. Ouch, Ouch, Ouch.
I keep trying to study and do homework like this. biggest failure ever

WHAT A SPLENDID DAY IT IS IN THE GRAND OUTDOORS

Today, I went to the wrong building
I was redirected
To another building
I went
To that other building
That other fucking building
Who knew it was the wrong building
The wrong fucking building
Hospital beds, non-English speaking receptionist, half-retarded nurses
It was the second building I went to
The second fucking building
The directions were wrong
The floor was wrong
SAY 12TH FLOOR IN ENGLISH, PLEASE, SIR
I walk past a bed
With a sign that said "dirty" on it
A sad face printed below it
Someone had died in that bed
Someone fucking died in that bed
And I looked for the elevator
The fucking elevator
Found a nurse
Stupid nurse
Are you here for a class?
A fucking class.
ARE YOU HERE FOR A CLASS?
A FUCKING CLASS?!?!
I'm here for the eating disorders group.
The weight management class?
THE EATING DISORDERS GROUP
Are you here for a class?
A fucking class.
Forget it.
Stupid fucking nurse
Stupid fucking building
The wrong building
Pass the bed
Someone died in that bed
That fucking bed.
Shut up.
No Smoking
No FUCKING smoking
Smoke
Cry
Fucking cry
Baby
Could you smell the dead person on their sheets?
And you know
It's funny
It wasn't funny then
And it's really no funnier now
But it's certainly a nice way to frame
Difficult words
It's funny
IT'S FUNNY
IT'S FUCKING FUNNY!
Hilarious!
No, stupid.
Fucking stupid
Not that kind of funny
Lean back, deflect, smirk
Grandios disillusion kind of funny
Fake funny
Fake fucking funny
Funny
Fake
Fuck.
Who to call
Who to call?
Someone calls you
Don't call anyone
Is the best advice they roundabout give.
Sort it out in your own head
Need.
Needy, needy need.
Tear stained pile of needy needy
Needy fucking need
Speak to a therapist tomorrow!
Need.
Won't.
Don't need.
Fucking need.
Say a word enough it loses all meaning
And I don't need
Need
It means nothing to me
Don't touch my shoulder I don't need you
Skip said "need" for professional help
Skip Need Twice
Professional help Need would simply tell you
Need
Fucking need
It's OK
To need.
I do not need.
Needy fucking need
Pathetic ball on the stairs lost her way
Need Directions!
Need guidance...
Need a friiiiiiend
Need FOOD
Need water.
Need therapy,
Need medication?
Need Doctors
Need prescriptions*
Need (family)
Need love:
So God Damn needy
I should have known better
Rigid drive home
Pass a building on my left
The building I was supposed to go to
The fucking building
I couldn't find my way there
Until I left
I'm not going back there
Needy.

Inconvenient

I am washing my coffee-stained dress, full heartedly assured the stains are permanent, but washing it anyhow. I hang it to dry on the drying rack, seeing that the stain is still just as present as it was before I washed it, and hanging it to dry anyhow. I sit down on the toilet, 10, 15, maybe 20 minutes later, and it is raining! On my head. Full drops of water. It is pouring rain. Rain...it must be acid rain...all rain is acid rain, isn't it? But it smells like perfume! I am being rained on by perfumed rain! It dots my eyes, curls my straightened hair, sticks to my back. This rain really does have an odd smell, and does not belong in my bathroom, and surely not directly over my toilet. It is not raining anywhere else in my bathroom. Why is it raining perfume rain over the toilet, while I am on it?
It smells like laundry
Like Woolite!
Woolite?
Ohhh
Oh!
Oh.
oh...
My wet-washed-stained-with-coffee-permanenty dress, is, in fact, on my drying rack, which is, in fact, placed inconveniently above my toilet, which is, in fact, where I am sitting, which is why, in fact, I am covered in perfume scented rain, which is, in fact, actually Woolite scented rain, which does, in fact, smell quite nice. I wouldn't mind smelling like Woolite all the time.

I do, however, mind coffee stains all over the ass of my dress.
Woolite doesn't care.
Rain on me Woolite, fuck you, says Woolite, I will not clean your dress, but I will pee on you while you pee.

Permanent Fixture: Shannon Saunders Cover