Just a dream

Sort of contradictory considering the fact that I just wrote an entry about why I don't write about dreams, and if you read that and took it to heart you probably won't read this, but this dream was as real as they come, and I want to write it before I forget it completely, so just skip over it if you aren't interested in dreams, for my reason or whatever other reason you may have.

Last night I had a dream about someone I was very close with for a long time. Actually it was a dream about both her and her mother. Both of them were huge figures in my life at one point,(not just in the dream,) and although they are not actively so anymore, not a day goes by that I don't think about them.
Anyway, this dream.
I was with a guy I know who I'll leave anonymous as well, one that she doesn't know and has never met before, and one that I've had a kind of funny and interesting history with, but not someone I'm attached to in any way. I think it's interesting that this guy was the one that showed up in this dream, because my feelings involving this guy could not be more different than the feelings I had regarding the guy this situation actually happened with, but I think it was a dual meaning, working with two different recent scenarios of mine. Anyway. I was with him and a group of some other people and we were traveling from place to place with a group of a few other meaningless people, and I was just kind of tagging along and not really in my element at all. We're in a dark parking lot one night, me, this guy, and this group of people, when all of a sudden I feel a tap on my shoulder. It's my friends mom, the girls mom. This was the clearest part of the dream. I saw her face in a semi profile, exactly like I used to see it when she'd drive me places. She was always talking to me while she was driving, she never ran out of things to talk about, ever. Also she usually had excedrin in the mornings for her headaches and excedrin has caffeine she says and usually she would drive me in the morning after her excedrin so she definitely had plenty to talk about. Anyway, whenever she talked to me in the car, her head was always turned just like this, this exact semi profile angle that I witnessed in the dream. When I saw her like this, it was like I completely forgot about this guy and everyone else I was with and I just hugged her and hugged her and I don't know if I was laughing or crying but I was doing one of the two. I didn't think my friend was with her. I figured she was coming to find me to tell me to start talking to my friend again, to reinitiate things again, to try and fix whatever went wrong. I thought she was going to tell me to be the bigger person, to not be so stubborn, I thought she'd explain to me in great detail exactly how her daughter worked, which she is exactly right about, I know that. And then I was prepared to tell her I knew her daughter too, and I also knew that things needed to be different this time, I tried, I would tell her, I tried so many times, if I reached out any further I'd fall flat on my face. At that point, maybe she'd come back. Walk on me and pick up the pieces. I was prepared to tell her I couldn't do that anymore, not with her, not with anyone. I was prepared to tell her that the only way I could possibly avoid that is if she decides to reach out to me. I was prepared to apologize.
Once we stopped hugging, I caught a glimpse of what was behind her. It was her, my friend. A view from the front, straight on, straight ahead, smiling, laughing, with her head tilting back like it does when she smiles like that, exactly as I remembered it. She was wearing her winter hat I'm so used to, and then my speech I had prepared to give to her mom skittered away. I went to hug her and she seemed excited to be hugging me too, she was laughing and smiling and overjoyed, but something weird happened. I kept trying to hug her and somehow it just wasn't working. I could only hug her halfway, our arms were around each others shoulders, but we couldn't fully hug, it was weird, we kept colliding or crashing into something or sometimes just the air made it impossible. We struggled like this for what felt like quite a while, her mom was talking and laughing and making plans, and we were dancing like this. I feel like we successfully hugged by the end, honestly though I really don't fully remember. It's fuzzy.
We talked, me and her, but it must have been about nothing, because I don't remember what we talked about. I just know that we did a little bit, in the dark parking lot. We mainly just laughed. Her mom told me to come stay with them, Thursday through Sunday. I told her I was staying with this guy and his friends right now, but I was happy to drop everything and come stay, my ticket just didn't allow for it. She offered to pay for a different return flight. I couldn't believe it. I thought after everything that had happened she must have hated me, but it was like nothing had changed at all. I got a second chance, go with him, go with us. There was no question in my mind, I was overjoyed, I couldn't believe I was given this opportunity again, I told her I was ready to come now. She said, talk to him about it. I said I would. She said give it until Thursday. I said ok.
My plan with this guy I was with was just to hook up with him. I was even feeling weird about that, but it's amazing how someone can want you so much more when there is something in the way.
So this guy, who've I've known since I was fairly young actually, but really never knew at all, confesses that he really likes me and cares about me. And I think, great. This was supposed to be casual. Way to mix emotions into everything. But even though I thought that, my empathy won me over. I even grew fonder of him. My friends mom would show up as if out of nowhere in random places and situations, talking about plans for the upcoming days.
It was down to the wire. I didn't even really care about this guy, and yet I was in what seemed like almost the exact same situation that had ruined things in the first place. Only difference was the person.
I don't remember how the dream ended, I don't remember how it resolved itself, or if it did. I just remember being wound up somewhere in the middle, I remember the feeling, I remember being afraid of myself, of my own decisions, my own desires, I was afraid of losing, and I don't even know what the outcome was.