No kaleidoscopes to make?

I have no kaleidoscopes to make tonight.
What?
I think that means I am supposed to sleep
Haaaaaa
THIS SUCKS.
Where is everyone I talk to at night?
I have my day time life, and I have my nights. I am awake for both I suppose. They tend to blend together into one, but when I look at them separately, as days, and as nights, I see a few big difference.
The people.
I involve myself deeply with the people I talk to at night, but we rarely ever talk during the day, and if we do its brief. night is always different.
My impulsiveness.
It's not what I do. I don't do much at night really. In fact usually I sit, I make kaleidoscopes, I talk to people, I watch porn, sometimes I'll write, sometimes, but I really don't do much else at night. Yet I always feel invincible somehow. I want to say things I don't say during the day time, I plan out my day time life according to my nighttime courage and schemes, sometimes it's good, other times it really probably isn't. It's 11:00pm right now, so it's still day time life, it's bleeding into night a little I suppose, probably a good explanation for my ambivalence on my nighttime grandiosity.
My memory.
I can't bring myself to begin an explanation.
I don't even feel like explaining why the explanation is difficult.
Yup, it's bleeding into night now. Writing takes effort. I might be up for it tonight, I might not, if I am it will probably not be non blog writing.
I really just want to sleep normally again
Eat normally again
Exercise more
I think if I feel like writing tonight, it's going to be about all of the stuff I want to do better. Commitments. Ideas. Ideas that turn in to commitments. Ideas that turn into commitments that usually fall apart for some reason or another. Maybe I have too much faith in the idea of sleep. I feel like if I sleep my nighttime determination and free spirit will help blend in with the day time me and make me be less...unnecessarily annalytical. Shy. Anxious. Irritated. Tight. Appetite-less. But not to the point where I'm fully like I am at night. I need a balance. Maybe sleeping could create that balance.
I feel like I sound like something out of fightclub. Well, it isn't that. I know who I am, and I am one person. I am all of these things, as many of us are. I just need to balance myself before I fall over because I just never get any damn sleep.